“In hope against hope he [Abraham] believed, so that he might become a father of many nations according to that which had been spoken, “SO SHALL YOUR DESCENDANTS BE.” Without becoming weak in faith he contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah’s womb; yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was also able to perform. Therefore IT WAS ALSO CREDITED TO HIM AS RIGHTEOUSNESS. Now not for his sake only was it written that it was credited to him, but for our sake also, to whom it will be credited, as those who believe in Him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead, He who was delivered over because of our transgressions, and was raised because of our justification.                (Romans 4:18-25, NASB)

            Let me start this blog out by stating that this particular blog is not for everybody; in fact, as the title states, this is primarily a message for me, as my Father and the  Holy Spirit have both been dealing with me concerning myself over the past few days, especially since this past Sunday. Now for those of you who are brave enough to read further or listen further as I talk about myself, I take Jesus’ position on this one: “He that hath ears to hear, let them hear what the Spirit has to say.” For the rest of you, this might be a good time to stop reading or go to another room…

            It all started in earnest right after church services on Sunday afternoon. I had just gotten through attending a ministerial staff meeting and just happened to be sitting next to our co-pastor, who told me, “Cedric, I don’t know what’s going on with you, and I’m not saying that it’s bad, but I saw something today I’ve never seen in all the time I’ve known you in ministry.”

            “What’s that, Pastor T.?”

            “You were absolutely struggling up there on the keyboard! And knowing that’s not like you, I saw something… Whatever it is that’s on your life right now, you need to deal with God about it, because the devil is trying to take you out right now.”

            “I’ve been knowing that for years! What do you see that’s so different now?”

            “Whatever it is, it’s not the people around you; the problems aren’t even with your wife… It’s you! But once you press through this thing and you finally come into your breakthrough, the anointing on your life is going to be so tremendous, I believe God has truly gifted you to do whatever it is He wants you to do in any area He sets you in. Also, your greatest desire, your promised children, will finally come as a result.”

            For those of you who don’t know the way that I’m wired, that set off a holy frustration within me. You see, I come from a family that truly believes in high achievement and greatness, and I have been no exception. I tend to say that I’m a recovering perfectionist; in other words, once upon a time it had to be absolutely perfect, or I wanted no parts of it… Either I was all in, 100% into what I was trying to accomplish, (especially if it meant being the best at it,) or I could care less what happened… Also, I tend to be pretty competitive, and I hate to lose! What I’m saying here is that I hate the thought of being the reason that something’s not going right around me, especially if it affects others in a negative way. So, needless to say, that had me going before God and asking, “Okay, Father, what’s up with me? What’s wrong with me? Where am I missing it? Where am I out of line with you? Because I want to see more of Your presence in my life, I want to see more of Your power in effect, I want to be more like You…” Not immediately, mind you, but since that Sunday, this gut feeling has taken place in me asking me the question, “Do you trust Him like you say you do? Are you all in, or not?”

            Since we’re already this deep in it, let me add this by way of confession: I like to play no-limit Texas Hold ’Em poker. Online, (using play money, of course!) or on computer, I tend to be very, very good, and have won several tournaments. The most exciting portion of the game is when one person declares that they’re going “all in”, which means that they’re putting all their chips into the pot in hopes of winning the hand. Sometimes it’s out of absolute necessity, (meaning you’re down to your last chips and you have no other choice,) and sometimes it’s used as an intimidation factor, trying to force someone else to either go “all in” with you or relinquish their hand. But either way, the risk is the same: if you win, you double your hand at least, if you lose, that’s it! But what does it truly mean to go “all in” with God?

            First of all, going “all in” means I have to make a conscious decision. The word “decide” comes from the Latin word “decidere”, which means “to cut off”; in other words, once I make a choice toward something, I cut off all other possibilities around me. If my song is “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back,” that means that all other “gods” (Allah, Buddha, Satan, and yes, even Self and flesh) are to be cut out the picture. Now that I’ve made that particular decision, what’s next? I must get to know the One I have decided to follow; start off by reading His Word every day, which not only contains the Way in which I ought to live, but also His very precious promises to me, His child. (How do I look upon the Bible? As a set of regimented rules that must be obeyed, or as a Father’s letter of love to His children?) Next, I must trust that His Word and His promises are true. The Word tells me in Proverbs that I must “Trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not unto my own understanding. In ALL my ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct my paths.” Am I deciding to do that every day? This is the type of trust that Abraham demonstrated above, beginning with God’s initial word to him:

“Leave your country, your family, and your father’s home for a land that I will show you. I’ll make you a great nation and bless you. I’ll make you famous; you’ll be a blessing. I’ll bless those who bless you; those who curse you I’ll curse. All the families of the Earth will be blessed through you.” So Abram [Abraham] left just as He said. (Genesis 12:1-4a, The Message)

Now consider this: Abraham was 75 when he left, traveled far and wide for 25 years and made many mistakes along the way, but when it came right down to it, especially in the promise that he would be “the father of many nations”, (and that it would be through Sarah that the promise would come through,) he did not waver in unbelief, and was fully persuaded that God was not only able to do what He promised, but willing to do so. This is why James tells me in the Word to “Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open…” (James 1:6-8, The Message) I’m also reminded in Hebrews that “without faith, it is impossible to please [God], for those that come to Him must first believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder to them that diligently seek Him.” (Hebrews 11:6)

            In conclusion, since I have chosen to follow Jesus and cut off all other possibilities around me, since I have chosen to get into His presence and His Word on a daily basis, cutting off all other activities around me, and since I have chosen to take God at His Word and believe in His promises to me through His Word and through what other men and women of God have spoken over my life, since I have received those precious promises through the blood of Jesus and through His resurrection, I, like Abraham, am the Righteousness of God, and because I am, God has promised me that “no good thing will He withhold from me,” because I walk uprightly! (Psalm 84:11) But having said all of that, (and this is for those of you who are still reading or listening,) even if all of that were not the case, I will quote the famous French mathematician and Christian philosopher Blaise Pascal as I paraphrase his famous Wager: “I’d rather live as if there is a God and find out there’s not, than live as if there is no God and find out there is.”

Thanks for reading (or listening)!

Cedric (Pastor Ced)

P.S. Thank you, Libby!